HOW TO ACCEPT LIFE AS IT IS, NOT AS IT SHOULD BE

Do you "shoulda", "coulda", "woulda" yourself?

You know what I mean. I should clean the house today. I should make a gourmet meal. I should call up that friend. I should have visited that person. I should...

Or, I could have fixed that. I could have called more often. I could have taken them a meal.

Maybe you tell yourself. I would do that if I had more time. I would join that organization, volunteer, take that course, take time for myself, etc.

As women, we do this far too often. We find reasons why we don't take time for ourselves. We have been told by parents, bosses, spouses what we "should" be doing or what we "could" be doing with our time. And friends and acquaintances often feel free to tell us what they "would" do if they were us.

When was the last time that you went out with some of your female friends for a meal. Not just a brief coffee while you are looking after your children or before your spouse comes home, but a real meal with lots of time to relax and share stories and not worry about what is going on at home?

When is the last time that you danced in the rain, or painted or just sat down and read for a whole afternoon without worrying about what others would think? We can drive ourselves crazy trying to do what everyone expects us to do, or rather what we think everyone expects us to do. It is time to just accept things for what they are.

If you have children, you need to accept the fact that the house is going to get messy, that it is not going to be picture perfect. You will become tired as you try to keep up with them and it is okay to have a nap when needed instead of trying to clean. You can give yourself permission not to be perfect. This is a huge step for many of us women. This is not to say that you completely give up on ever having a clean house again, it is just realizing that the kids are more important than the house.

It's time to set yourself free! To accept who you are and what you want to do. Not what others think you should do. You will never "find" the time to do what you want. You have to make the time to do it and you need to realize and believe that you are worth it! If you want to quilt, find a group in your area to join, or start one. If you always wanted to paint, check the local artists to see if any of them are giving lessons. If you want to try pottery, or weaving or any new skill, check to see if there is a local artist group in your town and ask them who might be available.

Simplify your life by doing what you want to do, not what you should do. You will find you have more time for the things you enjoy. If you love to cook, then cook. If you love to dance, then dance. If you love to have friends over, then do that. If you love to read, then read. You owe it to yourself to take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally.

By Fran Watson